The difference between trust and confidence: Thinking from Adlerian psychology

This blog is translated from Japanese to English by the new Bing.

Introduction

Do you know the difference between trust and confidence?
Adlerian psychology is a psychology that teaches us about human happiness and relationships.
In this blog, I will explain the difference between trust and confidence from the perspective of Adlerian psychology, with some concrete examples.

What is confidence?

Confidence is to believe in someone “conditionally”.
Conditions are the promises or rules that you decide when you do something.
For example, when you lend money, you decide on conditions such as “when to return it” and “how much interest to pay”.
The person who lends money believes in the other person as long as the condition of getting the money back is met.
However, if the other person does not return the money or pay interest, the confidence is lost.
The person who lends money may get angry or sue the other person.
In this way, confidence is something that is based on conditions.

What is trust?

Trust is to believe in someone “unconditionally”.
To be unconditional means not to decide on promises or rules when you do something.
For example, parent-child relationships are based on trust.
There are no contracts or conditions in parent-child relationships.
Parents love their children unconditionally from the time they are born, and children believe that their parents will protect them.
Of course, there are troubles and problems in parent-child relationships, but parents and children still respect each other.
In this way, trust is something that can be established without conditions.

The relationship between trust and confidence

Adlerian psychology says that the foundation of human relationships is not “confidence” but “trust”.
Human relationships are about people who are related to you, such as family, friends, teachers, and colleagues.
In human relationships, “confidence” alone is not enough.
With “confidence” alone, dissatisfaction, anxiety, and anger arise as soon as the other person breaks the conditions.
If you have “trust”, you can forgive, help, and support the other person even if they fail or make mistakes.
Also, if you have “trust”, you can be honest with the other person.
“Trust” can build a deeper relationship than “confidence”.
However, “trust” is more fragile than “confidence”.
For example, marital relationships are based on “trust”, but if there are acts of betrayal such as cheating or violence, the trust relationship collapses.
In this way, “trust” is important but difficult.

Summary

In this blog, I explained the difference between trust and confidence from the perspective of Adlerian psychology, with some concrete examples.
– Confidence is to believe in someone “conditionally”, and it is used for things like lending money.
– Trust is to believe in someone “unconditionally”, and it is used for relationships like parent-child or marital relationships.
In human relationships, Adlerian psychology says that “trust” is more important than “confidence”.
“Trust” allows you to respect the other person and be honest with yourself.
“Trust” is fragile, but it is important to make an effort to repair it if it breaks.
Let’s all build relationships based on “trust” with the people around us.